Sharing your life with a significant other is a big part of a full life for most of us. So if you’re single, unattached, and looking, Plenty of Fish is a great resource to expand your prospects. It is a dating site, people meet to see if they want to date. Oh there are other reasons you can list for being on the site from hanging out, to let’s go right now, to long-term relationships, but ultimately it is about dating. If you’ve been on other sites with limited success don’t judge POF by that standard. First of all it is free, so everyone can talk to everyone without any concern that the other person can’t talk back. On pay sites you never know if they will be able to respond. Setting up a profile is easy, searching is easy and there is always the top row of additional people they have picked for you; I’ve found that if you keep clicking those top pictures as a guy you end up looking at very young women (not my cup of tea by the way). I wonder if it works the same way for women, or is POF sexist?
A couple of tips. First, filter really well based on what you are looking for, not just on looks. There are tons of people on the site, they are all looking for someone to date, so find people who you might enjoy dating and if you’re looking for long-term, ask the important questions early, but still have fun, remember they’re checking you out too. When it comes to looks there are a few things to remember when filtering through the profiles. If their pictures are blurry it is for a reason. If there are no closeups it’s for a reason. If there is always something in front of their face it is for a reason. If all of their pictures are from the neck up it is for a reason. If all their pictures look different pick the worst one as being representative. Put your best pictures in your profile, but make sure they look like you or you will be wasting your time. On that note, be honest in your profile, but don’t assume they will be. I don’t understand people who lie about their age, height, body type, or availability. Lying about anything will result in the whole thing being a waste of time. Find a balance between communicating in emails, on the phone, and don’t wait forever to meet. It can be quite a let down after communicating for a long time to find out there is a problem when you meet.
A couple of weird things to know if you’ve “never done this before”. It’s about chemistry and romance, so don’t just get to know the person when you communicate and meet; if you are interested flirt with them. Most likely they and you will be talking to and meeting several people at once. This was difficult for me to adjust to at first, but accept it and be sure that you let Plenty of Fish work for you not against you. Be patient don’t jump into a relationship with someone right away. Think about what you’re looking for, what they are looking for, and will it work for both people. Don’t take it personally if they leave the site to “see whether it can work” with someone else, they may have been talking to the other person longer, they may be back. It really isn’t personal, it’s about what two people (not one) are looking for. If they don’t want to date, it isn’t because you aren’t a great person, it just means they want something else. Good thing there are plenty of fish in the sea. Once you find someone, get to know them, don’t make a life time commitment in the first 3 months. If it turns out they aren’t what you thought, don’t just keep dating them waiting for them to change. Get back out there and find the right type of person, a person that you hope never changes.
Update Dec 21, 2011: I haven’t been on the site for about two years and don’t expect to go back because I found a terrific someone, yes on POF. We met in January 2010 and moved in together in August 2011. POF might not be perfect, but I know there is no way that I would have met Jenny without POF. If the site is different now keep in mind that this post was from memory about a year after my last visit. Happy fishing!
Update June, 2012: Jenny and I are getting married next month! POF isn’t perfect but it can work. I’m sure some of the people I met on POF are still out there looking; and I wish them the best. Looking back on the POF experience now, I’m very, very glad I did it. I didn’t enjoy everything about it. It is never easy to put yourself out there but if you want a full life, and someone to share it with, POF is a great way to increase your chances of meeting the right person.
Have POF success story? I’d love to hear about it…
Other ways to meet people:
Road Trip – San Diego to Big Sur (July 2012)
Big Sur and Carmel California – Wedding, Hiking, Dining, and Driving (July 2-5 2012)
Quick Visit to San Francisco – (Honeymoon Part 2 – 5-7 July 2012)!